Another late night of restlessness
Waking hours, filled with fears
Tormenting dreams fill my sleep
I’ve given up trying to be healthy
I’ve given up all my hope
I’ve given up trusting in my Lord
Staring at a glaring brightness
Typing on the keyboard
Apathy. I care no more
About living life here in general
I want to give up breathing
Every breath I take brings heartache
“Just pray, listen without speaking,
And go to bed!” he says
But try as I might to sleep
Even when trusting in the Word of God
The ache in my heart is still
Very real, fear makes me want to cry
Where’s the beacon of the promise
The signal of Christ's love?
My rainbow after the rain
That beautiful bloom from the ashes?
That joy through the pain of life?
Christ promised abundant life in Him…
So, then why? Why am I here in the dark?
Why do I still suffer in the pits?
I say amen and it’s still lonely, empty,
And really hard to believe…
Where is the promise?
Where is my Comforter?
Oh Lord, where are You now?
The words of the cynics call me faithless
But I’m clinging to You as tight as I can
Because this ailment I have in my mind
Affects my spirit so very greatly…
Where does my help come from?
It comes from You, my Lord, my God
Will You help me mend from all my ills
Comfort me in this seemingly eternal night
Until the suffering ends at the Golden Gates