LIGHT for MI

Love that Inspires Growth and Hope through Trials

Love that Inspires Growth and Hope through Trials

Mental Illness and Our Take on It
Blog

Our Struggles, Our Testimonies, Our Hopes, Our Dreams

Well, well, well... LIGHTforMI has been AWOL for a while, haven't we? Life just got busy and emergencies cropped up. We are fairly settled in and everything is unfurling well. But, anyhoo... I wanted to tell you guys that I started going to New Day Clubhouse, working in the administrative unit! Life has gotten easier to cope with. Not perfect, but, I am glad to say that I am not allowing myself to stay home too much. :) Meanwhile, I have started many projects in arts, crafting and writing and music as my coping skills... We will be sure to update as soon as we are able, but at this time, I am unsure of where to begin... God bless y'all!

 

P.S. FEEL FREE TO EMAILS US AT This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. OR This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. AND SUBMIT YOUR ART, WRITINGS, SONGS, AND TESTIMONIES! WE WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU AND FEATURE YOU ON LIGHTFORMI!

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Naruto Shippuden: Sasuke vs Gaara English Dub

'twas a difficult time for me, this month... I have been seriously struggling with my depression. What with losing three friends and having horrific nightmares. I've gotten back into an old obsession-- the anime show; Naruto. When watching the linked scene, it pierced through my heart... "You even rejected the one who tried to help you..." When Gaara was weeping that, I felt like God was speaking to me through that video... It helped me to realize that Jesus is weeping that. I've grieved him greatly.

 

I constantly gave into my addiction to porn and eroticas and cut a lot but that image of tears in Gaara's eyes reminded me of Jesus. Of course, I know that might sound silly... but God uses all my media choices to reveal images to me. I've gone 7 days without looking at eroticas and porn. Also gone 9 days without cutting, now! I wrote/listened to/took these to get through it all:

 

 

Growing Young - Rich Mullins

I fight a hardcore battle. The severity of the war of my mind is so oppressing. I have blood spilling from my wrists and tears raining from my eyes... I am but a bystander. I didn't ask for this war. Don't look at me if you're looking for perfection. I may look strong; I might be kind. I may look courageous and like I've never cried a single tear. But I'm imperfect; and I'm my worse enemy. I cry behind locked doors and into my pillow.

 

I am just a child in a suit of armour, traumatized by the explosions and afraid of the warcries... I am no citizen, I am an immigrant. I am no soldider, I am a healer. I am no warrior, I am a bard. My home is not here it is beyond... I am not called to train to make wound but to heal them; but every time I aim to do exactly that, I end up hurting them more... Just don't look to me to be your perfect lil emotionless robot to do all you say with no concern for myself... I am only human.

 

And for all of your information, for a long time, I felt God nudging me to write my life story. I fought him, but I'm finally writing it! I feel someone could learn from or better yet, be comforted by it... I'm hoping my story is inspiring... 

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Often times I am asked why I am always so depressed and many times I am also asked what triggers my depression. So, I wish to turn this question over to those enslaved to depression. Why are you depressed? What triggers it? These are rhetorical questions for you to ponder on your own...
 
For me, it is often triggered by all the usual things that people deal with and media as well. Most times when I'm triggered, it is by a song that I did not suspect would trigger me, because it used to be a song I'd go to make me happy... But once that one trigger is started, I often go and listen to music that I know will make it worse, just to fuel that feeling.
 
Depression doesn't make sense. We all know this. You want out of it, but you also feel comfortable in it. Feeling free and whole is the unknown, so you rather just stay where you are and survive it, yet you also know you can't keep surviving that way, and you know that the only way out is to go beyond the realm of the known.
 
It is a confusing emotion, it is always anger turned inwards. That is where the line "I hate myself" comes from, anger towards yourself. It is confusing and addicting. Depression is the drug that needs no money to pay for it. But the price is more costly than money. So that is why there is therapy, because we are so addicted to the hate and anger we have with ourselves, we no longer know how to function without it, so the coping skills have to replace it.
 
With such information, what will you do with it? You can go on allowing depression to define you, and stay right where you are and never improve. Or you can take a stand for yourself, for others, and chase after the unknown. Depression is like snow, you cannot stop the snow, but you can plow through it in perseverance or you can lock yourself up in your home to avoid it. What is your action here? Ultimately, it is up to you, and you alone.
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Well, Hello world! Been silent over in LIGHTforMI lately, huh? To be bluntly honest, I have been trying to avoid this entire idea of towing the line of continuing a ministry about mental illness on my own while my mother was in college. In fact, I actually didn't want to continue in the ministry at all. I was kind of falling away from my own therapy and use of coping skills... And so, I thought in light of this truth, I'd talk about what therapeutic skills have helped me personally when depressed.

 

  • Music - I have found that music has impacted my life in wondrous and mighty ways. A few things I really enjoy to do are singing, dancing, playing, and listening to the beauty of the melodies, rhythms and vocals of music. It's in my veins like lightning.
  • Reading - I have found that reading is a great escape for me, as it is for many, I am sure. When I picked up a book and relate with a fictional character, I just don't feel alone anymore. That connection I have with a character helps me through some really tough time. Even in nonfiction, I find a connection with the author of the book and sees things I've never noticed before.
  • Movies - I love to watch inspiring Christian and non-Christians films with an uplifting message in particular. I always walk away changed, even if I've watched it more than once... it's always an encouragement when I need it...

 

Those before mentioned things are the general things that many others do as well, always should have a balance in them... it's better to avoid listening, reading or watching something that triggers you even more-- which many may think is obvious, and it is... but it typically it is the last thing someone who is depressed wants to do... DO IT ANYWAY!

 

Some other things that helps me, and these are more personal to me... Writing prayers, poems, stories, and creating art helps me to find a release that isn't selfharm. I also find that a balance in the time I spend alone or with friends and family is quite helpful. Crafts, games, and other things are nice as well, sometimes... So what do you guys do to cope in troubled times? Comment below and let's discuss this!

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Where have we been? I guess I could say that I have been dealing with the aftermath of my daughter's suicide attempt. Missed that? It was a rough ordeal that I couldn't write about until she announced it. Am I over it? No. Am I dealing with it? Yes. Constructively? I think so. I hope so. January has already flown by, and we are in the midst of February. Time sure flies by when you're having fun.

I'm not going to be blogging very much in the next few months. I'll blog when I get the chance. Hopefully Arianna will keep everyone informed. Why? Well, I went back to college to try to complete a degree in Information Technology, Web Development concentration. It keeps me on my toes, and I'm learning a lot. Prayers would be appreciated.

Do you or a family member suffer from mental illness? How do you cope through the rough times? Do you need help? Are you coping? Let me know in the comments...

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Who We Are

Arianna
Arianna LIGHT for MI

Arianna is a proud authoress, artist, and musician, but the most important thing about her is; she seeks the hidden face of God with a passion. A lover of culture, art, music, and all things geeky and Celtic, her writings are often greatly impacted by these things.

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Valerie
Valerie LIGHT for MI

Valerie is the wife of a remarkable man, and the mother of three children, with two of whom having various degrees of mental illness. Valerie is no stranger to mental illness herself as a sufferer of depression on and off for years.

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Live Here Chicago
Live Here Chicago